


Dual Halves

by LetoaSai



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, No sleeping, Obsessive Behavior, Pre-Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance, Pre-Kingdom Hearts III, Riku was an asshole in both, Sora's coma was oh so real, Sora's never gonna give up, Underage addict, parallel worlds, two lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 01:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19074376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetoaSai/pseuds/LetoaSai
Summary: Riku started having dreams. They were filled with darkness and creatures and losing his way. When he would wake up, he was still lost. One thing was for sure, in either place Sora was always chasing after him.





	Dual Halves

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Riku was at war with himself. With his body and his mind alike. The last two years had been hell, an absolute hell of his own making. His mind had dragged himself back and forth like a game of tug of war and he was finally shattering. He’d lost the one thing he’d loved most. The one thing he couldn't do without. Sora. 

His mind had begun fraying two years ago when all decent sleep seemed to disappear. The dreams had started silly enough, making a raft with Sora and Kairi to travel the worlds. A bloody raft and two coconuts. It was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard of, or at least it had been. 

They had been on the play island, himself, Sora, and Kairi with a few other kids that enjoyed the solitude for their games. They could look out across the never ending ocean without the main island being in the way. It was soothing in an eerie sort of way. Those dreams had always been some of his favorites, but they’d taken a turn. 

The first dream he had of a door had changed everything. Darkness swarmed the play island, oddly vacant of the other children. Only Sora remained, attacked by dark creatures that had Riku panicking internally but outwardly he watched in fascination. The key that had appeared in Sora’s hand was interesting, nostalgic even. He’d reached his hand out to Sora, watching as the boy ran for him but they’d never connected. 

He’d woken from the dream in a daze, but the emptiness lingered. He felt numb after having had the darkness between his fingertips, to having to return to school in the daylight hours. It was pointless and only made him angry. 

Every day he went to school and tried to go through the motions, and every night he was commanding armies of heartless. Maleficent had made everything sound so ideal, so easy. Then themes between both worlds began to imitate the other so seamlessly that he couldn’t remember which happened first, dreams or reality. 

In the dreamed up city of Traverse Town, Sora had met a dog and a duck. New friends that replaced Riku in the adventure that should have been theirs. Sora was _his_ best friend. In the reality of Destiny Island new transfer students had appeared and seemed to flock to Sora’s side like magnets. 

One after another these coincidences occurred and he couldn’t take them in either world anymore. The darkness is what appealed to him. Breaking the rules had been the most fun he’d ever had without Sora. If Sora was going to replace him, then he would do the same.

At night when he slept he was at Maleficent’s side, casting darkness in all directions and making Sora’s life as hard as possible out of spite. Sora, the one he had loved so much and whom had turned his back on him. 

During the day things had changed rapidly. He couldn’t stand the sight of Kairi any longer and shoving Sora to the ground in front of hos new cowering friends made him feel invincible. They were too afraid of him to defend Sora, it was pathetic. _That's_ what he was replaced with?! It wasn't long after he'd nearly stopped going to school altogether because - why not? He stayed out late, experimenting with alcohol and anything else he could get his hands on that made reality seem...more. He’d made a few acquaintances, not friends, god no, but people who also didn’t care. He could relate to that feeling. 

All the while Sora chased after him. He’d begged Riku to come back to school, to come with him home to dinner. He’d tried to get the blitzball team to take him back but it was Riku that was done with that childish nonsense. He didn't want back into everyone's good graces. Every time Sora got close, Riku would push him away. 

But Sora kept coming. 

Dream or reality, Sora kept coming. 

He needed Sora to keep coming. He needed Sora chasing him like a drug. Without that game, Riku was afraid he knew just how close to the end things would be for him. He’d needed Sora. He’d needed him their entire lives. 

Riku spent nearly a year, bathing in darkness while asleep, and ruining his life and reputation while awake. Everyone had tried to convince Sora to leave Riku alone. Kairi had told him that Riku was no good. Sora’s mother had said he’d become a horrible influence. Teacher and other kids from school were downright terrified of him. Riku’s own parents had moved Riku out into the garage just to get some distance from him themselves. 

For a year, Riku spiraled in hell, but Sora was always Sora. 

In Hollow Bastion, Sora had freed Kairi’s heart and set Riku free from both Ansem and Maleficent. Sora had forgiven him and called him his best friend. He looked at Riku as if he were the most important person in the world, and finally Riku understood he didn't deserve that look. 

In Destiny Island Sora had found him after no one had seen him for days. He poured out the liquor bottles and held Riku while he was high and having a bad trip from whatever dangerous cocktail he'd consumed. He stroked his hair and promised Riku that everything would be okay. Sora had forgiven him and called him his best friend. He looked at Riku as if he were the most important person in the world, and Riku cried. 

He’d thought maybe, just maybe he could redeem himself. Stepping into the realm of darkness to save Sora had been a reflex. It had been just like when they were kids and he’d hold Sora’s hand when he was scared. He’d have done anything for Sora. 

He hadn’t told Sora when he checked himself into a youth rehab center. He hadn’t told anyone, but it was the step he had to take to pull his life out of the darkness that had once seemed so pretty. He’d do anything for Sora. 

Rehab was a blur of withdrawal and Castle Oblivion. It seemed fitting somehow. There were moments when he contemplated his dreams being real. It would explain his sudden change in his attitude. Explain why nothing seemed to phase him at this point. Be it a clone of himself or getting sucker punched by his uncle who had tracked him down to rehab. 

He’d move forward for Sora. 

The day he finally believed the to were either connected - or that he was insane - was the day he left rehab. He’d sought out Sora for the first time in months only to hear rumors that he had been taken by ambulance to the hospital after his mother couldn’t wake him for school. His last dream in Castle Oblivion he’d seen Sora sleeping while Naminé reconstructed his memories. Memories that would take time to correct. A year. Now Sora couldn’t wake in either world. 

For weeks, Riku had been in despair. It would have been so easy to give into darkness again but for Sora’s sake he refused. He had to be the person Sora believed he could be. While dreaming he worked with Naminé and Diz, trying to piece Sora back together. He wasn’t necessarily proud of everything he’d done, but he held no guilt. 

During the day he sat in Sora’s hospital room, holding his hand and speaking to him as if he could hear him. He’d apologized a thousand times and was finally able to say everything he couldn’t in his dreamscape where Diz was so close. He hadn’t returned to school. He couldn’t possibly think of learning while Sora lay here alone. Sora was his partner, and Riku sure hadn't been acting like it. He'd let jealousy control him and missed out on so much time to actually be _with_ Sora

It had only taken a few short days for him to make another connection. Riku had thought it strange at first that he never ran into any other visitors in the hospital when he was there for hours on end, but it took finally speaking to Kairi to understand. She didn’t remember. Reality mirrored his dreams where everyone else had forgotten Sora existed as he slept. 

Sora’s mother did not come, and while the hospital cared for him, his name was often forgotten as if he’d been unidentifiable. 

It couldn’t have been a coincidence. 

Riku practically lived in Sora’s hospital room, and those around him didn’t understand why. They saw the changes in him, the sullen mood but the lack of drinking. His spite and anger had evaporated but his sadness wasn’t hard to miss. His once tarnished reputation shifted again and gossip spread over his quiet love for the unnamed comatose boy. 

How whatever this tragic accident was had changed him. 

His mother would bring him food and clothes and sometimes sit with him in Sora’s room. Gazing at the boy who was familiar but that was all. She was the only other visitor Sora had, and was the only witness to Riku’s bad days where he begged Sora to wake up. 

He was completely convinced his two worlds were connected, but still he wished in vain that he would wake before his dream self. 

Riku was never at peace, his waking hours fill with grief and his night hours filled with missions hunting down information on Organization Thirteen. He didn’t know how he actually ever rested, or which world was even the real one. He hardly ate or budged from Sora’s hospital room but he still grew. His hair grew longer, his muscles increased from keyblade battles, his scars transferred from one world to the other...

He no longer truly knew what was real, but he knew he belonged with Sora. 

While dreaming he’d found Xion and Roxas, but it did little to comfort him. They were so close, and if he had to get his hands a little dirty once more, so be it. 

When he’d fallen to darkness once more, it had been his choice. He had chosen to protect Sora at all costs and it felt like the lightest, bravest decision he’d ever made in his life. He may have to hide from Sora, but that was a small price to pay to know he was well. Of course selfishly, he knew he’d still have Sora to himself in their waking hours. 

The day Sora had finally woken up in his dreams, had been so beautifully bittersweet. Riku had watched from afar while Sora and his dog and duck friends went off on the journey. They had heartless to find, the King to track down and Sora...bless the light of his heart, was still searching for Riku. He couldn’t let Sora see him like this...drenched in darkness for a second time. 

His waking hours had been harder. He curled up next to Sora in his hospital bed, long used to sharing the room. Sora’s eyes still closed while Riku stroked his hair and yearned to apologize for everything he’d put Sora through even if Sora didn’t understand half of it. It was possible the Sora’s from his sleeping and waking worlds were different but it didn’t matter to him. Sora was Sora. 

When Sora’s eyes finally drifted opened he was confused. The smell of the hospital and the constant beeping where his only clues to where he was and he quickly clawed at his mouth in fear where the feeding tube had been placed. 

“Careful! Careful!” Riku grabbed his hands, summoning a nurse with the click of a button. “It’s okay. They’ll take it out. It’s okay.” 

Sora’s eyes filled with tears, staring up at Riku and gripping his hands as hard as he could. He didn’t need words for Riku to know he wanted him to stay. 

“I’m right here.” Riku said calmly, hesitating for a second before he leaned forward to press a kiss to Sora’s head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll make everything right.” 

He could feel Sora shaking, and knew full well how much Sora himself probably wanted to move but was unable to. When the nurse popped her head in she gave a delighted cry to see Sora’s eyes opened. 

In minutes the room was filled with doctors and nurses administering tests to check his cognitive functions and body reflexes. Riku was gently pulled aside while they worked and it did nothing but distress Sora to have him taken away. He’d tried to get up on his own and the crying started all over again. They were signs enough that Sora hadn’t gained any long lasting damage from his year long coma. 

Still it took a long time for the nurses to swarm him and give him a good once over. The catheter was removed along side the feeding tube and despite the pain of it, Sora’s first words were to call out to Riku. 

“I’m right here.” Riku said over the murmuring of the nurses. “I’m still right here.” 

There were a sea of people, tubes, and wires and it seemed to take the whole day. They’d given Sora’s body a wipe down and kept an IV hooked up to his arm. There would likely be a great deal more tests but they had decided to give him time once it was clear the tears wouldn’t be stopping until he was reunited with Riku. 

When they finally did left Riku crawled back into Sora’s bed, completely unsurprised to find the brunette clinging to him. 

“I’m sorry.” Riku repeated. “For the way i treated you. For the way i acted. The things i said. I wish i could take it all back.” 

“You’re here…” Sora sobbed, his voice raw. “I was so scared you wouldn’t be here.” 

Riku’s heart swelled, but he just held on tighter. There was no telling how long he had before everyone’s memories came back and he had to deal with Sora’s family and friends. “I’m right here.” 

“Why weren’t you there when i woke up!?” Sora sniffed. “I looked and looked.” 

“I was…” Riku blinked, ruffling Sora’s hair gently. “I’ve been right here beside you.” 

Sora pushed himself up to sit properly. “In Twilight Town! Why didn’t you let me see you!? Why won’t the King tell me anything!?” 

Riku froze, heart speeding up. “What?” 

Sora reached out to hold onto him, his face damp. “I was so scared for you, Riku. Please tell me you aren’t still in the Realm of Darkness.” 

“I’m…” Riku’s voice broke and he lunged forward to squeeze Sora as hard as he could. It was real. It was real. Both Sora’s had been one. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Stop leaving me behind!” Sora cried against his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Riku chanted. “Ansem...I didn’t mean to... I never wanted to hurt you!” 

“Of course you didn’t! You were possessed by that dark thing!” Sora clutched at his side. “Are you feeling better!? Are you okay?” 

Riku nuzzled closer, pulling them both to lay down again. “For all i had to leave you in someone else’s care there...I’ve hardly left your side here. I’m fine as long as you are.” 

“Riku…” Sora clung to him. “Won’t you let me see you there too?” 

“No.” Riku muttered. “But i will always be one step ahead or behind. I’ll be there for you.” 

They laid there in silence for a while, allowing the tears to slow and the adrenaline to fade. They held onto each other with no desire to let go. Hard lessons had been learned while they were sleeping. Those were mistakes they wouldn’t make again if they could help it. 

“Do you still drink?” Sora finally mumbled. 

“No.” 

“Thank goodness.” Sora muttered, rubbing a hand up Riku’s side. “Have you gone back to school?” 

“Not without you.” 

“Do you plan to?” 

Riku shrugged. “You lead, i’ll follow.” 

Sora smiled weakly. “I love you, Riku.” 

His heart could have burst that very moment. He hid his face against Sora’s hair but he smiled all the same, the first real smile he’d had in years. “I love you, Sora. You are everything to me.” 

Sora shuddered out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness.” He repeated, his throat painful and his body tired. For all he’d been hooked up to machines for a year, he’d still done a fair amount of growing. Just like Riku he seemed to maintain his form from his dreams rather than the truly weakened body he should have had from his coma. “What now?” 

“I don’t know. Don’t care as long as i’m right here with you. I’m so sorry for everything i put you through. Everything in both worlds.” 

Sora hummed. “I’ve long forgiven you for all that. I knew how bad it was. How much Maleficent got to you there to make you so self destructive here. I just want to help you.” 

“You did, Sora.” Riku said softly. “You did. I’d have been ripped apart without you there for me. It’s like you’re half of me, and without the other half…” 

“I’m nothing…” Sora said, tears in his voice again. “I need you too, Riku. Please understand i need you too.” 

“I understand.” Riku whispered, feeling lighter than he could ever remembered. For the first time since before the dreams started, he felt whole. It had always been Sora, his other half. 

The door shut and both boys looked up at the elderly man that entered. Riku didn’t recognize him, but Sora evidently did. 

“Master Yen Sid?” Sora asked hesitantly. 

He dipped his head in acknowledgement and walked towards them. “You two young men have managed the impossible. I can only imagine the terrible toll it has taken on you both.” 

“I don’t understand.” Sora mumbled, clinging to Riku as they sat up again. “You just sent me on another journey, didn’t you?”

He nodded. “I did, and the fact that you both have maintained two lives speaks well for you skill and integrity. You, my young keyblade wielders have had a lot on your shoulders. What do you say to connecting your lives they way they should have been all along?” 

“Which life is real?” Riku asked hesitantly. “What will happen to us?” 

Yen Sid managed to look gentle while answering firmly. “Both are real, young man. You both have something you must do, but i do not believe you need to hold onto that fear in your hearts. I have never seen two people joined together as tightly as the two of you. You both have your separate tasks, but your paths will merge into one soon enough. What do you say?” 

They were both quiet, soaking up the other’s presence and contact. 

“There are so many worlds that need help.” Sora mumbled. “I can’t just abandon them.” 

“I’ll go wherever Sora goes.” Riku said right after. “I will guard him with my life.” 

“You’ve protected him like a hell hound for the last year.” Yen Sid mused, looking both pleased and impressed. “Admirable, but keep in mind he can look after himself too.” 

“I know that.” Riku went scarlet. “I just…” 

“As long as you let me protect you too. It’s okay.” Sora smiled up at a him. “Will you let me see you when we get back.” 

“No. Not as i am now, but soon hopefully.” Riku muttered. “And you’ve always protected me too.” 

“If you’ve made your decision, come.” Yen Sid said, nodding to the door that hadn’t been there before. “It’s time for both of you two become two instead of four. One life instead of two.” 

Riku helped Sora stand, disconnecting his IV. They’d come back here someday, but for now they had worlds to look after. They helped start this mess, they would see it through to the end. He jotted down a note for his mother, telling her he loved her and would be back someday. It was the least he could do for her. 

Sora had laughed at his side, also signing the note and thanking her for the visits he didn’t remember. He promised to look after Riku too. It wasn’t an ideal goodbye, but this wasn’t goodbye forever. 

“Come,” Yen Sid said gently. “It’s time to make you whole.” 

“We’re already whole.” Riku smiled, his fingers laced with Sora’s as they followed along behind the sorcerer. 

Their hearts and minds were linked. They had been from the start, maybe this way they might be able to get real sleep again soon.


End file.
